Here she is! I was completely shocked that she is a girl!! I was convinced that she was a boy! But I was wrong! And I couldn't be happier!!!

Alright, so I have gotten BLASTED for not adding anything else about the appointment yesterday except for that she's a girl! So here we go:

Everything is great! My doctor is very pleased with how she looks as well as how I look and am doing. I have only gained 7 lbs to date. (I didn't gain anything between my last 2 appts.) My blood levels are good. The baby is doing great. She is weighing in at 1lb 6oz. During the ultrasound, she didn't move a lot -- she just sat there kinda balled and scrunched up. She had her arms crossed over her chest but was more than happy to show us that she's a girl! (go figure....)

I hope that helps everyone!

Bible Conference was good. But I am glad to be home! Got to spend some time with some people that I miss terribly (Amanda!) and got to see some other people that I haven't seen in a while. Also, quality time with JoJo is never a bad thing! It was crazy hot up there, which really got to me. Until Friday night I was staying with mom at a bed and breakfast which did not have air conditioning. I had a hard time with that. My feet swelled like mad in the heat!!!

Being with Territorial Band was, as always, great fun! Got to spend some time with Jamie and Wendy which was nice. And of course, the Barrington's always bring tons of fun! I had Anthony, Ella, and Talitha all weekend which was a BLAST! I took them gem mining which was hilarious! There's nothing like watching a 9 and 5 year old think that they have struck it rich! And really, who am I to burst that bubble?!?

Andrew was dedicated while we were there. I cried. I know, I'm so sappy. But I couldn't help it. It was a nice private ceremony and I felt so honored to have been invited. Pictures of that will follow. Like a complete idiot, I forgot to bring my camera so I have to wait for Erin to email me pics.

Tomorrow we go to the doctor to find out if we are having a boy or girl. I absolutely can't wait! The baby has been moving a lot and is getting so much stronger. I feel the kicks much more clearly than ever and it's easier for other people to feel now, too. I can't wait to see!!!!!!!!

Enjoy the pics from last week!

i was reading around on the internet and came across this chick who has the most hilarious site i've seen in a long time! i thought this was quite true (and funny):

Once I started “showing” a little baby belly, there were certain things, such as downing a pitcher of beer, skateboarding and pole vaulting, that I decided to stop doing in public.

You see, many people view that belly as a way to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. I don’t know how many times I walked into a coffee shop only for them to ask me if I wanted my drink “decaf.”

Uh, no. If I wanted my drink without the “good stuff” in it, I would have told you so. Also, why are you looking at me strange? What? You don’t allow cigar smoking inside Starbucks? Okay, fine.

All kidding aside, it really chaps my hide when I see people telling a pregnant woman what to do. Even better is when the advice is coming from someone who has never been pregnant.

I know that the 16-year-old making my mocha thinks that all caffeine is bad, but it isn’t. That is because she hasn’t studied up on what is okay during pregnancy.

Instead, she listens to what she has heard and assumes that any woman that dare drink a cup of joe that isn’t decaf is going to have a five-headed baby.

Even if the baby does have five heads, I’ll make sure to teach those heads not to give unsolicited advice to pregnant women.

so here we are at 19 weeks. we went to register at Babies R Us today and I was completely wierded out! Robert was more comfortable and okay with it than I was. I've registered with Erin 3 times now but doing it for myself was just too wierd. it's becoming really real. this is for real. and i'm almost half way done. crazy. (sarah -- thanks for the shirt!!! LOVE IT!)














so after our "registering fun" i decided i needed to relax a bit so i got stuff to set my fish tank back up. amber will be so happy!!!

Spent the day with Erin and the kids today. It was great!!! Here are a few pictures...

Leavens Family Reunion

Faour Family Reunion

hello all.

yes, it's been a while. and to the "anonymous" comment: yes, i am okay. just very busy! i just got back into town after nearly 3 weeks gone. tmi and 2 family reunions will do that. (pictures later.)

we spent the first family reunion in chattanooga with robert's family. that was good fun. a GREAT pool in the backyard always makes get-togethers more enjoyable! especially when there's 114 people in one house!!! (literally 114. no exaggeration there!)

then it was off to camp tomahawk for me to go to my side of the family's reunion. robert had a trip to costa rica for work already scheduled so he couldn't go. it was nice to be with my family...again, with a pool! but even with that, a week with them is tiring! i was ready to come home. we did a day trip to DC where i almost passed out from walking in the unbelieveable heat. the next day everyone went to philly. i opted to stay home with my cousins who are 2 1/2 years and 8 months old. that was great fun.

at some point in all of this i have started feeling the baby kicking for real. no more of this "fluttering" stuff. it's actual kicks! very cool! and, much to robert's dismay, mom felt the baby first!!!

speaking of, i have my ultrasound on aug. 28 to find out what we are having. i know (some of) you are waiting with baited breath!

amanda -- EXCELLENT picture! it totally made my day! i miss you like mad! i SOOOO wish you were here!

alright. it's off to bed for me. i'll post pictures of my past few weeks later.

7 years ago today. it was hard flying home...

night.

so it's almost time to go home! this week has gone by pretty quickly. for the most part it's been really good. i love being able to come out here and catch up with good friends i only get to see a few times a year. i didn't play in a band this year -- the baby wouldn't allow it! "he's" really hardly allowing for anything much in this heat! yesterday i ended up having to spend the entire day in bed b/c of being (basically) over heated and exhausted! it's the hills that kill me!!! i am singing in TMI chorus - which has been interesting to say the least. i ended up doing a solo with the territorial songsters that went very well, i must say. especially with the fact that (1) i learned the song the night before i got up to sing it and (2) i almost passed out at the beginning of the concert! so i was pleased.

i started feeling the baby kick this week. that has been incredible! monday night was the first time i felt it: just like someone was tickling me under my skin! and since then, "he's" been going nuts!!! "he" either really likes it or really hates it when i sing, cause that's when i feel him most!

i got through Harry Potter in about 3 days. which, considering i've had classes most of the time, isn't bad!!!!! i was surprised at some of it! but over all i thought it was excellent! robert is insanely jealous that i got through it first. bless his heart!

i'm coming home monday. robert is driving the truck back and will be home tuesday. then we have to haul tail to get our house emptied of our furniture b/c we got an offer on it. they want to rent for 2 months then buy...hopefully they actually will buy it. but even if they don't, we're getting 2 months off our mortgage and it will still be on the market while they are renting. so no time lost there.

alright. sleepy time for me. i think that's about all i can say for right now. have a fabulous weekend!!!

so i haven't been on here in a while. it's been REALLY busy around here getting ready for TMI. by the time i get home, i'm absolutely wasted and ready to go to bed! i was under the impression that when you hit your 2nd trimester the fatigue went away. well, it's not happening yet!!! oh well.

i've gotten a lot of baby presents this week. it's so wierd to be the one getting presents for a baby. i'm used to being the one buying the baby stuff!!! among my favorites are the best baby bathtub that i wanted and 3 "official" atlanta braves outfits to choose from as the coming home outfit. i'm so excited about that. they were very unexpected!!!

for those of you who are wondering, "belly" pictures will be back up soon. i haven't been able to get a good one lately. not sure why. but i'm working on it! i know some of you want to see....i keep getting emails! :-)

well, i'm off to TMI. can't wait! it still blows my mind that i actually like it now that i'm on staff. craziness.....

i spent the afternoon and evening at erin's helping out with the baby and girls...baby mostly. the plan was to take the girls out to dinner and let them play a little at an indoor park but that plan didn't work out. the girls wanted to play with nina and papa - so i helped out with andrew. amber and i gave him his first bath at home, which was great! he peed on me...and everything else around him! he did NOT like being bathed. he screamed the entire time!!! but it was great!!!

it's awesome to have godchildren!!!

MY PRAYER

Christ In Me (words: Colin Fairclough)

Christ of Glory, Prince of Peace
Let Thy life in mine increase
Though I live may it be shown
'Tis Thy life and not my own
Dwell within that men may see
Christ in me, Christ the living Christ in me

Answer now my soul's desire
Purge my heart with Holy fire
Soothe the hurt with gentle balm
Breathe within my life Thy charm
Fill me now so shall there be
Christ in me, Christ the Holy Christ in me

Gracious Lord, Thy grace apply
Both to save and sanctify
All my life wilt Thou control
Calmly ordering the whole
That the world may ever see
Christ in me, Christ and only Christ in me

Happy Birthday, Andrew!!!

i got a call at 2:45am from erin saying it was time to head to the hospital! so i rolled out of bed, threw some clothes on, brushed my teeth and rushed to emory eastside. took me 28 minutes to get there. her labors are usually fast and i was afraid i wasn't going to make it. i got there and she hadn't even started contracting, but because her water had broken at 2:30, it was go time! she got her epidural and 4 1/2 hrs later, ANDREW ARTHUR JOHNSON SELLERS was born! 7lbs 10.5oz, 20 inches long.

i must say that being pregnant myself, watching this birth up close and personal gave me a COMPLETELY different perpective! all i could think was, "oh my -- how am i going to do this in 5 months?!?!?"

anyway, he's beautiful and they are all doing well!!!

Finish the sentences.

I am listening to...
My next-door neighbor mow his lawn

I talk..
With my emotions

I love...
My husband

My best friend(s)...
Is about to have my 3rd godchild

My first real kiss…
Was not that great

I've lost...
A certain amount of trust in people

Love is...
Very special when it’s real

Marriage is...
An anchor in my life

Somewhere, someone...
knows me for me…and loves me anyway

I'll always be...
Apprehensive around certain people

I have a secret crush on...
Mellow Mushroom cheese calzones

The last time I cried was...
This afternoon

My cell phone...
is extremely overused

When I wake up in the morning...
I hit Robert…and snooze

Before I go to sleep tonight...
I’ll tell my husband I love him

Right now I am thinking about...
Too many things to put here

Words can be...
Extraordinarily helpful and loving but also extraordinarily hurtful

I get on myspace to...
Honestly, I’m not sure why I get on myspace. I’m contemplating shutting all these things down.

Today I...
Had a rough day.

Tonight I will...
Rest

Tomorrow I will...
Clean out my mother’s garage with her and my husband

I really want...
To understand a lot of things about life

The person who means most to me in the world right now...
Is laying with me on my hammock. And it’s wonderful.

well, i'm home alone this weekend. mom and robert are out of town. i hate it. happy day.

i have not been feeling well this week at all -- very dizzy/disoriented, cramping, and mad headaches. so i went to the doctor yesterday...freaking out that something was wrong. i got there and they told me that my blood pressure is dropping. that is causing all this dizziness and such. i was very worried about the baby, so when i heard the heartbeat (after the dr took forever to find it), i completely lost it and cried like a baby! worse than when we saw the baby for the first time on the first ultrasound! but it was just such a relief to hear that and know that my child is fine...and apparently doesn't really care much about how i'm feeling!!! so while he didn't put me on bedrest, he did say that i have to take it very easy. which means that i can't go to the house this weekend and pack and clean. that is so frustrating. but at this point it's more important to keep me and the baby healthy.

so here's to this weekend...alone. unless erin calls telling me she's gone into labor. her appt today brought news of 2 cm, 70% effaced. WOOOHOOOOO!!! andrew should be here soon!!!!!!!

11 weeks - looking kinda scary....

in other news, tonight is our last night in our own home...

very....completely...utterly...exhausted!!! (funny how all my posts lately start that way?!)

did 2 very cool things today that i haven't done in a while:

1. had a girls' night and got a pedicure with jojo. that was not only much needed but quite relaxing. i now have no money.

2. went into bernie's studio and recorded some stuff. that was great fun!! haven't recorded anything in a while...even though i love doing it!!!!!

now it's off to some serious bathtime...then bed.

today has been absolutely exhausting and overwhelming! we listed the house this morning which was good, but also quite overwhelming because of the amount of work that goes into selling a house. packing, cleaning, getting things together and moved is just more than i can think about right now. i am so tired and easily exhausted right now that it just makes me tired to think about it!

my neighbor came over and took some stuff today and they are coming back tonight with their truck to get some more stuff. that helps them and me: the less i have to deal with the better!!

oscar is taken care of. we can't take him with us on our move so jonathan and amanda are taking him. i am really happy about that. i don't want to give him away but since i don't have a choice, i'm glad that he's going to really good friends who i know will take care of him.

erin is coming over tonight which i am VERY excited about. i feel like i havent' seen her in forever! it'll be good to see her and the girls for a bit.

i didn't sleep last night at all. i literally just laid in bed awake all night. not sick. not anything. just not sleeping. utterly frustrating!

so now i am going to take a nap before robert, erin, and the girls get here. lovely.

i've been feeling so much better the past 2 days!!! almost like my old non-pregnant self! (knock on wood) up to this point, come 8pm, i've been wasted with really bad indigestion. but the past 2 nights i've felt really good with NO indigestion! i'm very happy about that!

i went to pick up my last check from work tonight. that was interesting. i no longer work for them and anakin is in daycare. not completely sure how i feel about it all. part of me is relieved that i'll have a chance to get my house done and moved, etc and part of me is upset that i won't be with the kids anymore. oh well. c'est la vie.

it looks like i'll be going to the music dept again this year to help out with TMI prep stuff which i am SO excited about! so the money that we thought we lost by me not working anymore is not really lost! just coming from a new place. thank you, lord! we need it!!!

when we were coming home, our neighbors were out in their yard so we stopped to talk a second. they just bought a new house in snellville so they aren't our neighbors anymore, but they are cool. rocky, the husband/dad, was doing some last minute stuff to the house and yard before he had to turn his keys in, so his wife and kids came over to hang out for a bit. it was nice to sit and talk with her a little. she's really funny! and, robert was able to borrow their lawnmower (since he broke ours) and get our lawn mowed before susan comes to take pictures of the house tomorrow for our listing. so that was really nice!!!

but now it's 10:30 and i'm getting sleepy. so goodnight, blogosphere.

we've hit the double digits!!! 10 weeks today!!!!!! this week i haven't been feeling that great. still no "morning sickness" to speak of, just horrible indigestion that makes me feel awful. and it sets in really badly between 8 - 9. then i'm done for the night!!!

Aquarium Fun!

lots of changes going on in the snelson household. other than the obvious "having a baby thing", we are selling our house. interesting changes going on in our lives. things have been somewhat stressful. okay, a lot stressful. prayer would be good.

EDITOR'S NOTE:

so robert and i went to tour the hospital tonight. as soon as we got onto the room, i broke into a cold sweat, almost threw up, and almost passed out. i had to leave. does anyone see anything wrong with this? it's not like i didn't know what to expect. i was in the delivery room with erin! at THAT hospital! but needless to say it freaked me out. completely.

9 weeks!

WHEW!!!! this weekend is over!! it has been so exhausting! LONG days and not much sleep. it was awesome to have Talitha all weekend though. I am somewhat disappointed in myself, however, because i got NO pictures at all. that's disappointing. but she is such a good baby - i hada great time with her!

i missed territorial songsters more than i thought i would. i sat in on rehearsals on thursday night which was good. but it definitly made me miss it.

i hit week 9 yesterday. baby snelson is doing well. i have another appt tomorrow -- first of the regular OB appts. i graduated from the infertility clinic on tuesday! (insert pomp and circumstance here.) tomorrow i'll get to hear the baby's heartbeat for real. we heard it tuesday but it was very brief and completely unexpected so it took me a minute to figure out that what it was! stupid me!!!

anyway, all in all things here are okay. 7 more months until baby snelson graces us with his/her presence!

here's the newest picture of baby snelson! s/he's 4 cm long and his/her arms and legs are moving! heartbeat is at 174 bpm, so that's great! if you look on the picture, the left side of the baby is the head and the black spot there is one of the eyes. you can't really see but there is an arm there! the still pictures aren't nearly as clear as seeing the screen in person!

i'm 8 weeks today. so far i've been feeling okay...until yesterday when i started feeling really bad. not nauseous or sick, but more EXTREMELY exhausted and faint. other than that, though, i'm doing alright!!! (knock on wood)

having TONS of fun with jonah this week!! here are a few "preview" pictures...

7 weeks today! more than halfway through my first trimester!!!!

sorry i have become somewhat negligent on my blogging. my life iliterally CONSUMED with being pregnant. which, up to this point, isn't much fun. i'm the most exhausted i have ever been in my life. i don't ever want to eat for fear that i will get sick. i've been living off of mashed potatoes, dry toast, phenergan, zofran, vitamins, folic acid, and canada dry...with some milk thrown in here and there. but the way i see it, i have 5 1/2 weeks before my first trimester is over...at which point i should be golden! so if any of you moms out there have any suggestions on just how to get through the next 5 1/2 weeks, i'll gladly accept them!

but seeing as this is my first pregnancy, i thought this quiz result was quite funny:

What type of Mommy are you?

Super Ma Ma You have everything down pat. You can do anything, fix any situation. You most likely have more than one child, ages ranging from 0-5.

How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

so yesterday i had a haircutting fiasco. i went to get my haircut once i got to augusta. i've done this before. never had a problem. but yesterday, i went and the lady was HORRIBLE!! first of all, she didnt' say 2 words to me. the time it took from sitting down in her chair to getting up was a whopping 8 minutes. she used no products or anything. and when i say it was a bad cut, it was worse than bad! literally, i looked like a teenage skateboarder high shcool boy. it was awful. i got up and walked out without paying. i was so mad.

so i called my cousin who lives here in augusta and asked for some other place to go. she gave me a number. i called. they were completely booked. but they gave me the number to a spa/salon place. i call them. (knowing my entire wad of money is now going down the drain but i REFUSE to walk around the way i was.) they were able to fit me in.

i get there. the girl looks at me and says, "what did she do???" my thoughts exactly. since the first lady cut it even shorter than it already was, there wasn't much the hair-saver could do. but she did manage to make it look more feminine. (thank you so much!!!) so now i have incredibly short hair. even short for me. i don't really like the cut much. but it's at least better than what it was from the first stupid lady.

i'm counting on my prenatals (aka - flintstone gummies and folic acid) to do their thing and make my hair grow!!!

so today i got into an accident on the way home. someone rear-ended me getting onto north druid hills. she didn't mess up my car, but she hurt hers pretty badly. and since i was looking to the left to try to merge onto ndh rd, my neck whiplashed funny. now i have a headache and my neck hurts. i called my ob/gyn just to make sure everything was okay with the baby...she said it was. whew!!!

then, once that was over and robert and i were on our way home, we were listening to the dave ramsey show. i like it when people call in and they do their "WE'RE DEBT FREE" screams....but today was special! this one family called in having paid off about 46,000 in 10 months. their boys (8 & 9) were on the phone with them when they screamed. and can i just tell you that when they did, i started crying?!? which, in turn, made me laugh because here i am crying at the dave ramsey show.

yeah. i'm pregnant.

Baby Snelson - 5 weeks, 5 days old

Saw this today and thought it was funny.....


What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I couldn't care less!

today has been - by far - the worst pregnant day to this point. i feel horrible. i am absolutely wasted. in the morning and afternoon, i can barely keep my eyes open. but between 5 -9, i have a TON of energy...then i drop again. and i feel like the world's biggest witch (i'd say other words but my husband will inevitably read this). i don't mean to feel this way but i can't help it! i just feel so mean! but not at any one person in particular. just in general. luckily, anakin has been clingy and wants to cuddle at the house a lot, so that helps. (and i realize that sounds sarcastic but it isn't. it's the absolute truth!) i get some loves in during the day! i had a pb&j sandwich for lunch at the park with anakin and almost threw it up. but it tasted fine. what the heck is that? it's just crazy.

i'm ready for thursday when i get to see our baby's heartbeat and find out exactly how far along i really am and when (better ballpark figures) to expect this little person. i am also ready to ask for anti-nausea meds. zofran, phenegren, etc. any will do. just something to keep me from being, feeling, acting sick. anything. and i don't care how much it costs, either!

i found this picture while looking around on the internet. how cool is this???














Top Ten Things you should never say to a pregnant woman:

1. "Hey there, big mama!"

2. "My God, you're enormous! Are you sure you're not having twins?"

3. "Well, looks like the boob fairy has visited you!"

4. "Should you be eating that?"

5. "You shouldn't be feeling so tired/cranky/insert-symptom-here. You're not that pregnant yet."

6. "So, are you still with the father?"

7. "How do you walk without falling forward?"

8. "Are you gonna get fixed after this one?"

9. "Enjoy sleep/time to yourself/insert-any-enjoyable-activity-here now, because you'll never get any once the baby comes!"

10. From any husband or SO (or anyone else for that matter): "Yeah, this pregnancy has been really hard on me, too." Please!

my sister-in-law's new found stupid human trick....

i cant' believe i'm pregnant! here's what "bean" looks like right now:

how amazing is that?!? anyway, i put a link over in my "blogs i read" section to our baby's site. it's called (obviously) baby snelson. check it out often. i'm gonna update it as much as i can and most of my journaling will be done there.

for those of you who'd like to keep up with our pregnancy, go to www.jillandrobert.us

alright. so for those of you who know me, you know i'm not the "crafty" type. however, i have recently acquired a sewing machine from a very generous couple at the corps and i am now addicted to finding projects to sew! i made oscar a couple beds with erin, but now i'm "flying solo!" so far i have made a purse - which came our...okay - and then this afternoon i made a pair of pants. (well, with the help of jojo.)

anyway, i am in this whole new phase of looking up things to make and how to use scrap fabrics for different types of projects. (Netty- HELP!!!) it's a wierd, new world for me!!! but hey, new things can be fun, right?!

Jalynne's birthday party

This is in honor of Leon Kirkpatrick. (a blast from the past)

"The Fruit of the Spirit's not a coconut,
the Fruit of the Spirit's not a coconut,
if you wanna be a coconut you might as well hear it,
you can't be a Fruit of the Spirit!

The Fruits are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control."

Signs of Spring

ever feel like this?!?!?

yeah. that's me today!

today erin and i took the kids to pick strawberries at a farm in athens. it was pretty cool! well, actually it was VERY HOT but but it was neat to pick the strawberries!!! here are pictures for your viewing pleasure...

i also became a huge fan of SKYPE tonight! we got on a video call with my brother- and sister-in-law and our nephew. it was very cool! and free!!!!

so tonight i went out for a little shopping and when i was on my way home, this is what i saw:

gorgeous, huh?!

adding to the newest "craze" on blogs and myspace, here we go:

- Jill looks like hell, because it's seven-thirty and she hasn't had a shower
- Jill looks like she is done laying her eggs for the year.
- Jill looks like a very sweet and honest person.
- Jill looks like she could stand to be elsewhere.
- Jill looks like she’s going to cry.
- Jill looks like Lisa Loeb.
- Jill looks like a beautiful woman, like a angel and she gives a bright glow everytime I see her picture.
- Jill looks like a giant flat piece of crap..
- Jill looks like an angel as she sleeps.
- Jill looks like you have pimped out your space. nice.
- Jill looks like, "Huh?"
- Jill looks like her Mom too.
- Jill looks like a mermaid that walks the earth.
- Jill looks like she’s about to smile.
- Jill looks like she'd be "tough" instuctor if I took one of her classes, she trained military groups for quite a number of years
- Jill looks like a vampire
- Jill looks like she is in good shape (hooray!!!)
- Jill looks like a tomato
- Jill looks like a fun person to hang with (awwww, you guys!)
- Jill looks like she's enjoying herself.. Jack's.. uh.. I don't wanna know. (HA!)
- Jill looks like Janice the muppet from Dr. Gonzo's band.
- If Jack's in love he does not care what Jill looks like... (AMEN!!!)

modern medicine amazes me.

we have been having infertility issues the past year and a bit. obviously! last week we were referred to a reproductive endocronologist. for those of you who don't know what that is, it's the "head hauncho" of infertiltiy. they are the ones who do In Vitro Fertilization. so last week we went to see dr. slayden at reproductive biology associates in lawrenceville. we went with anxious minds and hearts - waiting to hear what exactly was wrong with us and why we aren't able to get - and stay - pregnant. today we went back for our test results and lab work stuff. and we got answers. and while i won't go into the specifics so as to not completely bore you, the bottom line is that we are (here it is!) infertile! but the amazing part is that we are also able to get pregnant!!! well, we are going to undergo treatment to have a baby. and here is where the modern medicine completely blows me away!

first let me say that i will NEVER do IVF. it is fine for some people, but for me and robert, it is unethical and un-moral. (how you like that word, ryan!?) but that said, we do have options. and this month we will begin those options. medications and procedures will hopefully allow us to carry a baby full-term and bring him/her into this world fully healthy!

so on to infertility treatments. here we go....

we just got home from a weekend away. we went to winshape retreat at berry college for a marriage enrichment weekend. it was AWESOME! the grounds are beautiful and quiet. there's a wildlife refuge there so there are deer, geese, turkeys, horses, etc there. it was so nice!! the rooms were gorgeous, too! no tvs, phones, or computers anywhere!

we spent the weekend really connecting with each other, which was so nice. we had a lot of time to just sit and talk and be with each other. it was so relaxing and restful. the sessions were good. they really provided a good opportunity and springboard for discussion and real open conversation. it was very nice to really TALK to my husband.

alright. i'm done being mushy. except to say that if you ever get the opportunity to go there, DO IT!!!

like an idiot, i completely forgot my camera. so once i get pictures emailed to me, i'll post them.

...more on baby stuff later.

the only good thing about robert's recent trip:

Robert comes home tonight! i am so excited!!! i always hate it when he's gone, but this week has been especially bad. like i said earlier, it's been an extremely emotional, stressful week. and it doesn't help that he's out of town. i did alright through the week. work was good and mom was able to stay with me. then friday came and april and i hung out and stayed up talking until midnight. that was fun. i woke up at 7:30 the next morning in anakin's bed then came home and went to sleep in my own bed! woke up at 4:00pm. yeah, needed the sleep! then i went out with erin and another friend. it was nice to just have some down time. when erin and i got back to her house, since i was crashing there, we stayed up until 5:00am just talking and laughing, having ourselves a marvelous time! i havent' stayed up that late since high school!!! but it was so nice friday and saturday to just be able to talk adult conversation and be myself.

this weekend is our marriage enrichment weekend with the corps. i am so looking forward to that. it'll be so nice to leave some stuff behind at home and be able to focus on just me and robert. no phones. no computer. no tv. no nothing! (how's that for good grammar!) i'm very excited about it!

when we come home we have our first appointment with our reproductive endocronologist. i am very nervous about this appointment. it will tell us which direction we are definitely going: infertility treatment or adoption. right now it's looking like adoption. i'm hoping and praying that the RE will have something up his sleeve that we haven't heard or read about.

it's so hard for me b/c people tell me that i am obsessed with this whole "baby thing". that i need to just relax and move on. but what people don't realize is that while it's very easy to just say "oh, relax", the bottom line is that we are facing the very real possibility that we will never be able to have our own children. at first that possiblity seemed so unreal. but now it is literally staring us in the face. basically, our RE appointment is a 2nd opinion to my ob/gyn's findings.

at this point i feel so alone. no one (except maybe my sister-in-law - but even her situation was different) understands what i am going through. no one understands how incredible difficult this is for me and how badly my heart is breaking. all people see is what comes across as an "obsession" with having a baby. but people don't go to my doctor's appointments and hear my doctor's words to me. people don't understand that this is probably the most difficult thing that i have had to deal with up to this point in my life.

so there you go. there's my update. i'm trying my best to still praise the lord in my trials. i am trying so hard to give up my "isaac". i want so badly to be able to trust in his plan for my life. but right now, everything seems so dismal and dark...and hopeless.

this past week has been extremely stressful. my car had to go in b/c of a national recall, which is free to repair, but i end up paying $760.00 for repairs that i didnt' know i needed. isn't that always how it is with dealerships/shops. then, robert is out of town, so that is always stressful. robert's parents are doing well, but his mom has medical junk going on so we have to deal with that. and on top of all this, we have gotten even more bad news on the infertility front. so my life this week has been one emotional, stressful, completely exhausting one.

anyone have any money for a body massage?!

Went to our first game of the season today!! It was SOOOOO COLD!! I had 2 pairs of tights, 1 pair of socks, jeans, 2 long sleeve shirts, 1 short sleeve shirt, 2 scarves, leather jacket, 2 pairs of gloves, an ear warmer thing, a hat, and 4 blankets. But it was SOOO worth it!! We won: 5-3!!!!

Mom and I took the kids to the zoo yesterday. Other than being cold, it was so much fun! Here are a few pictures from our day! Enjoy!!

this was my day today!!! easter egg hunt with the kids. and scooby is jalynne and anakin's new dog. i'll post pictures of him later....

i love my job. i am growing to love the kids. they are such good kids! i love that i am able to teach them so many things. i love that they respond to me the way they do. i love that anakin will come downstairs in the morning and sit in my lap and cuddle with me for 20 minutes while he's waking up. i love that anakin can tell me the letters A, B, C, and D and words that begin with those letters. i love that jalynne will ask me to do her hair for school. i love that jalynne said to me today, "jill, jesus lives in my heart!" i love my job.

maybe someday soon i'll have this with my own kids, too...

okay people -- what do you think? is this me?!

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. INFP creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic favored careers: poet, painter, freelance artist, musician, writer, art therapist, teacher (art, music, drama), songwriter, art historian, library assistant, composer, work in the perfoming arts, art curator, playwrite, bookseller, cartoonist, video editor, photographer, philosopher, record store owner, digital artist, cinematographer, costume designer, film producer, philosophy professor, librarian, music therapist, enviromentalist, movie director, activist, bookstore owner, filmmaker disfavored careers: business professional, manager, executive, administrator, business owner, supervisor, office manager, business analyst, financial analyst, public relations manager, ceo, executive assistant, judge, event coordinator, lawyer, office worker