i had quite a productive day! which is surprising seeing that abigail didn't go to sleep last night until 5 am! i have wanted to make some of these "no sew blankets" for a while and i finally went out today and got the fleece to do it!!! i'm feeling quite proud of myself!!! abigail's is quite a bit larger than i thought it would be but she'll be able to use it for a long time. mine is really big which is great cause i love oversize blankets! (and i love the retro look!) here's my final products:

abigail's blanket:













mommy's blanket:

it's no secret that i have been exclusively pumping for abigail instead of nursing her. well, that means that i have to pump and freeze milk b/c 1) when she was in the NICU she didn't eat a lot and 2) i pump more than she eats at one time. so today i decided i would take a look and see how much i have in there. i thought maybe somewhere around 100 oz. i've been pumping for 2 months...i thought that was a good guess. no....i have at least 572 oz of milk frozen in my deep freezer!! and i say "at least" because i multiplied the 143 bags by the amount in the smallest bag: 4 oz. but there are probably more than half of the bags in there that have closer to 6 oz in them! and the crazy thing is that i am still adding to this stash! just this morning i added another 24 oz!!!

what am i going to do with all this milk!??!

i'm not a morning person. (understatement of the year.) i hate mornings. i hate having to get out of bed unless i'm good and ready to...which usually falls around 11am. HOWEVER! waking up to abby's coos and talking then looking over her crib and seeing her playing (okay, sometimes crying, too) first thing in the morning is AMAZING! i absolutely love it!!! and i didn't realize this until today when i didn't get to do it. robert got her up b/c i was otherwise indisposed being a milk machine. so i missed my morning hello from my baby.

she makes mornings bearable. that's a big deal!

so we got a TON of snow today (well, a lot for us!) so we decided to bundle abby up in about 12 layers of clothes (the top one being a 6 month outfit!) and take her out for a minute. daddy made a snowman for her and we took pics of us with her. then, we heard our neighbors yelling at us and out they came taking pics of the 3 of us in the snow!!! hopefully i'll get those soon....

Abigail loves her Uncle Dr. Holz

To say that i have been frustrated with nursing/pumping is a HUGE understatement! i have known since before i was pregnant that i wanted to breastfeed. abigail, however, has had other plans! we have spent the last 2 months trying to figure this whole thing out. for something that is supposed to be so "natural", it's freakin' hard! she would get very frustrated when i tried to get her to latch on and in turn, i would get frustrated. the lactation consultants in the NICU were of some help, but never really sat down and showed me what to look for in her latching and sucking and what's right and what's wrong. i was also told that since she's a preemie, she may never get it. she had a feeding tube for so long and went straight to the bottle that she just may not get it. needless to say, i was very disappointed but determined to either pump every 3 hrs (which wasn't my favorite idea) or get this whole nursing thing to work once and for all. at abigails 2 month check up, her dr and i talked about our nursing problems and he put me in contact with the lactation consultants and peidmont hospital. to be honest, at first thought, i didn't think it would do any good. but i thought i'd give it one last try -- after all, they are only 5 minutes from my house as opposed to the LCs at Emory Eastside (where i delivered) being an hour away. so today i had my appt. i was excited for it - when i spoke with the LC on the phone last week, she was very positive and, after hearing my situation with a preemie, told me that this isn't insurmountable. that was the first time i had heard that clearly. so i went to this appointment with an open mind but hopes not too high. i got there, undressed abby down to a clean diaper and we weighed her. then the moment of truth: time to get her to latch. and amazingly she took to it right away!! she nursed off and on for an hour and a half taking about 1 1/2 oz total!!! it took everything in me not to turn into a puddle of tears on the floor!!! the LC said that she was doing very well, especially for her first time really nursing effectively. she said that probably within a week, abigail will be nursing exclusively!! i have done one other feeding since being home - she nursed for half of it and took the bottle for the other half. i am so excited!!!!

we still have some "preemie issues" to overcome in regards to nursing, but all in all i now know that as long as i put the time and effort into it (and patience!), abigail will get it! she proved today that she CAN do it! she just needs to learn that she now has to work for her food!!!!

for your viewing pleasure


"i like to sleep...during the daytime!"

"check it out! i've got a hand!!"

"my daddy sure is funny!!"

"i like taking naps with daddy, too!"

so today is abigail's due date!!! very strange to think that she was "supposed" to be here today....and she's 2 months and 2 days old!!!!!!!!!

why are some decisions so hard to make? i've been struggling with one in particular for the last 2 weeks. well, it's been longer than that, but the intense part of it has been 2 weeks. i'm constantly fighting with myself over what to do, who to listen to, how to go about this, etc. i get varying opinions and suggestions -- who do i listen to? everyone has a different take on MY situation...even the "experts" have different takes! what is right? which road is the right road? i think it is quite possibly THE most frustrated i've ever been in my life....

okay, so since i have a minute now, i can put down a bit more of my thoughts from this weekend. during these weekends, i usually am the most excited about seeing my friends that i don't get to see but a few times a year. however, this year was different. there's something about being a mom that makes everything, and i mean EVERYTHING, be seen in a different light. i have never really taken a minute to really read the words that i am singing on these weekends. i am usually just trying my best to read the music! but this weekend, 2 songs stood out to me and have been playing over and over and over in my mind. the chorus of the first one:

you are my rock, my rock eternal
you are my source and inspiration
the joy of my salvation
the rock on which i stand
you are my rock, my rock eternal
you are my only sure foundation
the hope of every nation
the rock on which i stand

and the second one (with a few words missing here and there, these are my favorite lines):

be still and know that i am god
the god who gave my only son to you...
...though waters may roar and mountains may shake
and danger fills your heart with deep despair
with faith and hope and love you'll find me through your prayers
and know that i am near
...keep faith...my wonders never cease

it amazes me when i look back over what i and my family have been through the past 3 - 4 months. things i never thought i'd ever have to deal with. things that have been the scariest of my life. and yet look at where we are now! and while, yes, a lot of this has to do with abigail, there are other parts of my life that god has been near to. that he has proven to me again and again that "he is near" and always has been! i hate it when i look back over these times and realize that it's my fault i was so lost. but that's the truth. i was the one who moved. not him. but i also love it when i look back and realize that even though i was the one who moved, he stayed right with me, beckoning me to come back and just be with him. and it amazes me that he not only "allows" it, he WANTS it! he wants me!!!

i look at abigail and feel such a tremendous amount of love for her. love that i never really could understand until i saw her. and i know in those moments that god loves me just like that. no matter what. isn't that amazing?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

well, it's been quite a weekend. territorial band & songsters rehearsals was this weekend and i have NEVER been as exhausted as i am right now. that includes 48+ hrs of labor and delivering abigail. these weekends tire me out as they are, but add in a 2 month old who wakes up every 2 hrs at night and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster!! it was great to see everyone - andy, connie, wendy, and jamie came over for dinner on thursday night. that was fun....and wendy looks FABULOUS! i can't wait for those babies to pop out!!!!!

abigail is doing well. we have her 2 MONTH check up on thursday! she's 2 months already! i can't believe it! she's around 6 lbs...we'll find out exactly on thursday. she also gets her first round of immunizations then. i can't believe how time has flown by! she has her days and nights mixed up still...which is a bit frustrating, but under normal circumstances (ie. no marathon rehearsals) i can deal with that alright. that said, i can't wait for her to get that straight and sleep longer stents! she is beginning to smile on purpose at things which is amazing to see. she knows who i am....which i LOVE! yesterday i went to get her up out of her bed to feed her a bottle and she looked straight at me and smiled. i melted right there!!! yes, i'm a sappy mom!

other than that, starting tomorrow morning we are learning a new normal in our house. robert and mom are both going back to work and it's life as usual....plus abigail! so we will be establishing our new normal and i can't wait! i work better on routines and schedules so i'm excited about this.

well, that's about it for now. i'm still tired - even though i had a HUGE nap when i got home this afternoon.

Questions that need to be answered!!! (thanks erin!)

Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? What happens to that extra penny?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON tv?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and " panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
Which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Snelson's Christmas Morning

Merry Christmas!! Love, Abigail

hello out there!

just wanted to say hi.

well, we made it!!!! i'm sitting here pumping and typing listening to my daughter coo in her crib! it's incredible!!!! here are pictures from today --- ENJOY!!!

ABIGAIL IS COMING HOME!!!!! robert and i are rooming in tonight and tomorrow and bringing her home with us on wednesday!!! her dr did her discharge exam today and he said she looks perfect! WOO HOOOO!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
paper - definitely

2. Real tree or artificial?
REAL ONE!!!

3. When do you put up the tree?
I wish the day after Thanksgiving. no choice about that!

4. When do you take the tree down?
The day after new years.

5. Do you like eggnog?
it's the most disgusting stuff in the world!!!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
honestly, i'm not sure. i don't have a "stand out" favorite one...wierd...

7. Do you have a Nativity scene?
yep

8. Hardest person to buy for?
robert

9. Easiest person to buy for?
right now? abigail!!!

10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received?
hmmmm....refer to question 6

11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail...definitely

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
in my family, we have a couple traditions that HAVE to be watched at least twice during the season: White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street (the new one), The Young Messiah, Frosty the Snowman, and Rudolph (and the island of the misfit toys!!). those were in no particular order.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
uh....well.....whenever i get around to it. this year? not happening at all!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
probably somewhere along the line

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Meemaw rolls when we get to GA! (gotta go with Trish on this one!)

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
clear....as a kid i liked colored but now i can't stand them!

17. Favorite Christmas song?
any from The Young Messiah (which is basically The Messiah a little more contemporary-like)

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
now that i'm married, travel

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixon, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. (trish, i'm disappointed.)

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
i grew up with an angel, but right now we have a cross

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
christmas morning....but we used to do ONE present christmas eve

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
hmmm...i'm gonna go with stupid people the day after thanksgiving that think they have to be horribly mean to others just to get something at a discount.

23. What is the 'corniest' family tradition you do, or miss doing?
growing up, the first night our tree was up, we would sleep in front of it on palattes on the floor and sing 2 songs: "if it doesn't snow on christmas" and "i like to turn the lights all out". we didn't do it this year....and i really missed it!!

24. Ugliest Christmas Decoration ever invented?
too many to name right now!

25. Which looks best theme trees or homey trees?
family tree all the way! there's nothing better than reliving memories with all the handmade ornaments from when we were kids!

26. Gingerbread or sugar cookies?
i actually like both -- but this time of year i'll go with gingerbread

27. Do you like Fruitcake?
Nope. refer to question 5

just to update:

abigail is doing much better. thank you to all who have prayed for her since before she was born until now! her infection is getting better - her blood work shows it's down to 3.1 from 6.5 yesterday. this is fabulous news! she's taking all her feeds by bottle right now - not her feeding tube - and hopefully she'll continue that as they increase her feedings back up to full feeds. (a full feed for her is 37 ccs, right now she's at 15ccs. one ounce is about 30 ccs just for reference.) she will be on 2 antibiotics for the next 7 - 10 days and then hopefully things will be back to where she was before she got sick. the dr likened it to when we get colds or the flu and we are down for a few days then we feel better and have another little bit when we've done too much and need to go back to bed until we're completely better. thankfully she's responding to the meds so well that right now a blood transfusion is taken out of the equation for now. but mom is going to donate some blood for abigail just in case she does end up needing it later on.

again, thank you for all your prayers. if you want to keep up daily (or however) with how she's doing and pictures, you can visit her website that i update daily HERE.

i know i haven't posted on here in a while. and even this post is mainly a copy of what i've already done elsewhere. but i am asking for prayer for abigail. things are pretty rough for her (and us) right now. i copied my journal entry from last night (from her website) so that you can know a little better how to pray. i do understand that there are those of you out there who don't care (no, those comments are not forgotten) and if that is you, just ignore this post. but for those of you who do care - and i KNOW that's a lot of you!!! - please take a minute and read this then pray for abigail. she is really needing prayers right now! thank you!!!

well, today was filled with much anxiety, nervousness, and freaking out! i called this morning to let abigail's nurse know that i was on my way and asked how abigail was doing. she says to me "abby's just not herself. we'll talk when you get here." so of course i'm freaking out the whole way up! apparently she had been screaming bloody murder for a while and NOTHING would soothe her. this is not like her! she's usually very happy and when she cries, it doesn't take much to comfort her. when i got there, abigail was very upset and i just grabbed her and held her. dr ahmed was late coming in today b/c he had a drs appt but as soon as he got there he looked at her and agreed that something wasn't quite right. he ordered a CBC and another type of blood thing. the CBC came back normal but the other one came back the slightest bit high (5 or above would show concern, hers was 1.4.) he asked if i had seen any changes in her and i said ABSOLUTELY! we went over what i have seen in her (low energy, very lethargic, not alert, pale, brady epidodes, desat episodes, etc) and with my observations added to his chart stuff, he decided to go ahead and start some antibiotics and move her back into the more intensive care nursery. he put her on a nasal canula to help with her desats, took her off feedings for the next few days, put an IV back in, and told us to prepare ourselves for a blood transfusion tomorrow. he also took a chest x-ray to make sure her lungs were doing alright. it looked great. so that was good.

so we moved her into the other room and when they were about to start her IV, lisa (her nurse - one of my favorites) said it would probably be better if i waited outside. well, i just fell apart at that! i didn't want to leave abigail. so she made an exception to their rule and let me stay, after all i had been with abigail all day long at this point! it took 4 sticks to get her IV going. the nurses tried 3 times and finally went and got dr ahmed to do the 4th one. abigail is so worn out that she really didnt' even flinch at the first 3 sticks. it wasn't until the 4th that she cried. i was really happy to hear that cry, though! it meant that she realized what was going on!!!

all in all, dr ahmed said there is no threat to her life right now. this is normal preemie stuff. he told us that ALL DAY LONG! and i believe him. it's just wierd and scary for us right now b/c we haven't had any of this before. i am completely wasted and exhausted from today. i have been an emotional wreck since before i got there! then just going through the whole thing was overwhelming. i didn't want to leave her at all tonight, but i know i need to rest up and take care of myself as well. but i just want to be with her at her bedside. they did let me hold her for all but about 1 1/2 hrs of the 8 hrs i was there. that was comforting.

so there's my update. i have a peace that she is going to be okay. i know she will. this is just something that she is going to have to go through. and it is normal. just pray for her to make it through this time as quickly as possible and that she will be back to her normal self soon. and for strength for me and robert as we walk this with her.

abigail's first 2 weeks of life

i know i'm a day early but tomorrow will be filled with LOTS of activities (including but not limited to the parade!) so i thought i'd go ahead and give my "i'm thankful for..." list now.

I'm Thankful For...

- a wonderful, loving husband who cares about me and takes amazing care of me
- a wonderful mom who still is my best friend
- my beautiful, amazing daughter who is showing us even now that she is a strong fighter
- good doctors and nurses who are extremely diligent in taking care of my daughter
- good insurance so our medical bills don't have to be so scary
- friends who have helped us out along our journey of bedrest and delivery in every way imaginable
- and most importantly, a loving caring heavenly father who takes care of me and my family in the most amazing ways.

How Preemie Moms are Chosen

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit. This year thousands of mothers will give birth to a premature baby. Did you ever wonder how mothers of preemies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instrument for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a great ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew"
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia"
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard, he's used to profanity"

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a premature baby". The angel is curious, "Why this one, God? She is so happy." "Exactly," smiles God, "could I give a premature baby to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in the sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today, she has that sense of self and independence that are so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect, she has just enough selfishness." The angels gasps, "Selfishness; is that a virtue?" God nods, "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child who comes in a less than perfect way. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied."

"She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says, "Mommy" for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or sunset to her child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations."

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see; ignorance, cruelty, prejudice, and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." "And about her patron saint," asks the angel, pen poised in mid air. God smiles, "a mirror will suffice."

i think things are different now. i know, that's an understatement. but in me, like ME, i think things are different. i was trying to explain to robert the other night now i feel just....different now. it didn't work very well - my explainations, that is. and it's true, i don't know how to explain it but something is just different now. the way i feel. the way i think. for (a small) example: those of you who know me, know that i am NOT a morning person and hate getting up period! however, now, i have to get up at 2:30am to pump then start my day at 7:30 pumping. this means that sleeping in is no longer an option. some days i go back to bed for an hour or so after, but i can't really sleep when i do that. this is weird! this isn't like me!!

i know that in general having a baby changes your life and your lifestyle, but i guess i was more expecting the changes to come when abigail got home. but they were pretty much immediate!! just knowing that she is in the world now and is counting on me to sustain her does something to the way i think about everything.

and it's great!!

for some reason i can't figure out how to upload videos to Abigail's site...so here's one from today. she does NOT like to have her temperature taken, which we have to do when we have "hands on" time with her. she definitely makes it known!!!

Abigail Grace Snelson – Birth Story

After 2 rounds of going into labor and it being stopped, Thursday, Nov 9, 2007 at 12:00am contractions began and this time were accompanied by bloody show. Time to go to the hospital…again! So off we went. We got to the hospital and they quickly began another round of terbutaline but to no avail. The contractions kept coming every 2 -3 minutes. For a few hours they were tolerable. But soon they started coming harder and harder. My entire labor was back labor – which is almost worse than having all the contractions up front (so I’m told…and I believe it!!). At 1:00pm the doctor came to assess me and I was 4 cm 100% effaced. They kept trying everything they could think of to stop my labor from more terbutaline to procardia to narcotics but nothing worked! She was just ready to come!!! Funny insert here: when I was on the narcotics, they dulled the pain just enough so I could nap in between contractions. Apparently when I was “out of it” I began asking to use the bathroom IN FRENCH! I haven’t used my French in about 2 years! Robert also go a kick out of me seeing my IV and pointing very enthusiastically saying “BUBBLES!!!” Finally around 12:30am (Saturday morning) my doctor decided this was going to happen no matter what he did so he ordered the epidural. Thank God!!! My contractions at this point had been VERY hard for 12 hours straight and I was exhausted and completely worn out. Epidural meant relief!!! Once I got the epidural I had progressed to 6 cm 100%, 0 station. I met the anesthesiologist (my new best friend!) and he hooked me up! I screamed at the local anesthetic – he didn’t tell me it would burn (BURN!) and it scared me! But once it was in, the epidural took about 2 minutes to take effect and all my pain was gone. 10 minutes later my doctor came to check me and said “it’s time to push!” so I got into position. Robert held my right leg, my nurse held my left leg, Erin and Mom stood right behind the doctor watching the whole thing from a front row seat! So here I go! I started pushing and couldn’t feel a thing…just pressure. I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right, but apparently I was because my I kept hearing “I see her head!” I pushed for a total of 6 minutes and out she came!!! From the way I was sitting/laying in the bed I could see the entire thing.

She immediately turned pink (THANK GOD!) and cried just a bit. The doctor suctioned her out and quickly passed her off to the NICU team (3 nurses) who took over Abigail’s care. I finished up with the delivery of the placenta and such. But honestly I had no idea at that point what was going on “down there” – I kept my eyes on my baby girl! She seemed so far away from me, but the way the nurse was standing, I could see everything they were doing. She started out breathing on her own but they decided to put a breathing tube in just to help her out a bit. The first try didn’t go so well: Abigail didn’t like it and she coughed it out! (a very good sign!) The second time worked. They put her in an incubator and wheeled her over to me so I could touch her and spend a quick minute with her (through glass) before she went to the NICU. I wasn’t going to see her again for another 5 ½ hours…

I still didn’t know any of her stats: weight, length or anything. That came later.

My first visits with Abigail

If anyone ever tells you that your epidural will wear off in an hour, do not believe them! It took 5 hours for me to feel my legs again! Then again, she was born 20 minutes after getting it. But I couldn’t get up until I could walk and having no feeling in my legs doesn’t make walking very easy! So as soon as I felt strong enough, they moved me to a mother/baby room – but on my way I was allowed to stop in and see my daughter. When I got there, she was hooked up to the breathing tubes and had an IV in her right hand. She also had what looked to me like a gazillion wires coming from every part of her body measuring everything imaginable: heartrate, breaths per minute for both what the machine was doing and what she was doing on her own, body temperature, etc. She looked so small!!! But she was here and the nurse assured me that she was doing quite well. I was told that she weighed in at 3 lbs 10.5 oz and was 15.5 inches long. Apparently that’s quite big for a 31 weeker! (that’s my girl!) I spent about 20 minutes with her then had to head back to my room. It was 6:30 am at this point and I was exhausted! We were told that we would be able to go back in at 8:00am to see her during her “hands on” time. “Hands on” is when Mommy and Daddy (and 4 other previously approved people) can go in and change her diaper, check her temperature, hold her, feed her, and do whatever she can tolerate at the time. The first time we had our “hands on” we were only allowed to touch her. We took about 50 bagillion pictures of her!! She was doing very well – the nurses were very pleased!

The second time we went (12 noon) she was doing so well that we were allowed to hold her for about 15 minutes each. I cannot describe how it felt to hold my daughter for the first time! She was so tiny and beautiful and perfect!!! I kept looking at her thinking “this is MY daughter! WOW!” Robert also held her and to see him with her made me melt! It was even more amazing then the feeling I had of me holding her! Seeing my husband hold my daughter just did something to me that I have no words to describe.

We got a call from the NICU at 2:00pm telling us that Abigail was doing so well they were taking her off the breathing machines. She was able to breathe completely on her own!!! The only thing she had was a nasal canola to keep her oxygen level up – but she was doing all the work herself! We went in again at 3:00 but weren’t allowed to hold her. She got a little stressed by us holding her at noon and I didn’t want to push it. I kept telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is!!!

On Sunday I went in at 8:00am with Auntie Erin who got to change her diaper! At this point she had had 4 VERY full diapers! Her kidneys seem to be working just fine! At noon JoJo (grandma) got to hold her for the first time and everyone cried! She was completely free of any help and the only machines she was hooked up to were for nourishment! AMAZING!!! I held her again for just a few minutes then put her back. Thankfully, this round of holding her did not stress her out in the slightest!

At 3:00pm we went back for our last visit of the day since I was being discharged from the hospital. Just before we were on our way down, we got a call from the NICU telling me that she was doing so well and was so stable that she was being moved down from the NICU to the Intermediate Nursery!!! Robert and I went to see her and tell her bye and that we would be back tomorrow.

Delivery Pictures

First Moments With Abigail

alright. seriously, my child is the most impatient baby EVER! (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but here we go again....)

i was admitted monday after my regular check up for being 4 cm dilated and 50-60% effaced, -2 station and membranes present. and this time they told me i would have to stay until i delivered.....

I contracted every 2 mins for 3 hrs monday with PAINFUL contrax. they expected to see abby tuesday morning. but they were able to stop labor and today has been much better. still contrating but not as bad. the dr won't allow anyone to check me b/c my membranes are RIGHT THERE and she could easily break it with her fingernail if she wanted...so no more cervix checks til I'm in active labor. lovely.they gave me some narcotic monday night for pain and it completely knocked me out. I won't have that again...had I progressed, there would have been no way that I could have pushed.

they completey blind-sided me this morning and let me come home!!!! (i think it's because i freaked out on the nurse last night and completely went ballistic...on accident!) here's the story:i have been having to stay on my back almost completely b/c abby is still too small for the monitors to really keep track of her and the best way is on my back. the problem is that laying on my back constantly HURTS! so at night when i was sleeping, i didn't realize i was turning to my side...until the nurses came in to adjust the monitors. well, last night after about the 25th time (literally) in about 45 minutes i had had it! plus, my IV kept going off every time i got up to go to the bathroom -- which was about every 15 minutes. so i'd have to call to have them silence the stupid thing. we couldn't do it. so finally i had just had enough and i started balling my eyes out and yelling at the nurse (which i later apologized for!) and just couldn't calm down! it was just bad...so this morning when my dr made her rounds she said, "i heard you had a rough night last night!" i felt really bad but she said that IF i wanted to go home, i could. there wasn't anything else they could do to stop the contrax and i could just as easily take both meds (procardia and terbutaline) at home as in the hospital. well, it took me 4 hours to decide that i did, in fact, want to come home. at first i didn't because i felt like i had a better chance at getting the epidural/phenergan quicker if i stayed since i was already hooked up to the IV. but she said that that was going to come out if i decided to stay. and abby is in no danger whatsoever....she's constantly moving and had the hiccups almost the whole time! her heartbeat is good so i feel comfortable with that. so after a 4 hour deliberation with robert,, my mom, my dr, my nurse and erin, i decided to come on home. so here i am!

i got the COOLEST ultrasound on monday when they admitted me....the tech was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sweet and printed me out the pictures i've been dying for my entire pregnancy. i've wanted her face so badly but could never get it. now i have 2!!! and she looks EXACTLY like Robert! it's scary, really! she has his chin, his nose and his forehead! it really isn't fair: we go through all this crap with them then they come out looking like their father! what's up with that!??!

alright, well, i think that's it! i'm hoping that the next time i go to the hospital i'll come home with a baby OUTSIDE of me! i'm nervous about breaking my water...i'm afraid that any sudden movement or anything will break it. apparently it's just kinda hanging RIGHT there.....i have to go to the dr 2 times a week from now on (fun!). my next appt is friday. i have no idea if i'm more dilated from the active labor monday night - they refused to check me until friday. so right now i'm 4 cm, 50-60% effaced, -2 station with membranes present. but i'm fairly certain that the labor and contractions i was having monday did some more dilation....i won't tell you why - just trust me on that one!!!

and on top of all this, NaBloPoMo is completely shot!!!!

last night i had severe (and i mean SEVERE) lower back pain. now i know this is a sign up labor so i'm freaking out! when i say severe, i mean like nothing i've ever felt before. and i had a good number of contractions last night about an hour or so before the pain started. this morning i've had some, too, but i can't really tell if they are regular or not. they don't hurt, but i'm still worried.

i hate this whole "not knowing" thing....it sucks.

i really only have one thing to say today:

I HIT 30 WEEKS!!!!!

now on to my next goal: Thanksgiving Day! (think i can make it?!?!?)

today i have been in tears for a good portion of the day. i know this whole bedrest thing is the best thing for abigail right now, but it's getting so hard!!! what i wouldn't give to go to target for just 5 minutes!!! but i know i can't...

but rather than sit here and give myself a pity party, i will tell you my really good news!!!!!! i need a few more winterish maternity clothes -- not many b/c i can't go outside anyway and i'm hot inside all the time. but i do need stuff for when i have to go to the doctor every week. i was wondering what to buy and what was worth spending the money on...then i came up with this idea!!! i've only gained 8 lbs, right?! maybe i could fit into a few of my pre-pregnancy clothes?? so i sent robert to the attic to get my clothes and lo and behold! THEY FIT!!!! not all of them, of course, but most of my shirts and at least 1 pair of pants! woo hooo!! so i have about 25 long sleeved tshirt that i can now layer and all robert has to buy is one pair of jeans for me! that's awesome!!! i'm so excited!!!! WOOO HOOOOOO!!!

and just for good measure, isn't he the cutest bee ever!?!!?

so i signed up for the NaBloPoMo deal just to give me one more thing to do while on bedrest!!! so uness abigail decides to make her entrance into the world this month, i'll try my hardest to do this successfully!!!

here's to blogging!!!!

alright. weekly dr appt update:

still dilated to 3 but found out today that i am also 50% effaced. that freaked me out a bit, seeing as they hadn't told me that before!! but apparently i've been like that since i went into labor. so i seriously am halfway there!!! i asked if he thought i would go early and he said, "your guess is as good as mine. what do you think?" i, of course, said no. he says, "well, i don't think you will either!" hmmmmm....so when will she make her big debut!??! i wish i knew! i'll be 30 weeks on saturday...my new goal is Thanksgiving Day, if i pass up 32 weeks.

i've had a LOT of contractions today and i've had a lot of uncomfortable-ness along with them. not pain, really. i actually thought it was pressure in my lower abdomen, but apparently it's not. (so my next question is what does real pressure feel like then!?)

on the weight thing, i haven't gained or lost. i'm still what i was last week, which means i've net gained 8 lbs to this point. i was worried about it, but my dr assured me that as long as abigail is growing - which she is - my weight is fine. WHEW!!! less to lose later on!!!!!

alrighty, that's it for the dr! i went to erin's after my appt and since i can't drive, she brought me home. it was nice spending a good chunk of the day with her and the kids. amber and ava completely crack me up and andrew is good at breaking all my baby gear in! he was the first in my car seat and today he took a nap in my crib. i should have got a picture of it, but alas, i did not. shame on me.

abigail has taken to liking to camp out in my right ribs. and can i just tell you that IT HURTS!??!?! it's like she pushing my ribs with everything she's got! and i can't get her to move! not comfortable in the slightest!!!

wendy and roni are coming over tonight which i am COMPLETELY stoked about! i miss them both and am excited to see them! i can't wait to see wendy's preggo self!!!

alrighty, have a fabulous rest of haloween!!!!!

did my annual pumpkin carve tonight. here's the results:

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've hit 29 weeks! Which is FABULOUS! Not only is Abby better off in than out, but that also means I'm that much closer to having this child! It's really a catch-22!!

I decided that I have had enough of bedrest so Mom and I went to Wired & Fired to paint some pottery for Abigail. It's a compromise, really: I get to be out of the house for a bit, but you have to sit down to do the painting. So Mom thought it'd be okay....here's our finished products!!!! (my pig really is painted pink, although it's VERY light pink so you won't be able to tell well until it's fired.)

i am LOVING outback's curbside service right now!!!

in other news:

thought this would be a good haloween costume for me this year....

had a great dr appt today!! i'm still holding steady at 3 cm, even though i've had about a bazillion contractions since friday! so i'm really happy about that! abigail sounds and looks great! again, happy about that! my dr did up my meds to every 4 hours instead of every 6, which is kinda upsetting, but hey, what are ya gonna do!?

i lost 2 lbs again...not sure how that's happening but it's the 2nd time i've lost 2 lbs between appts in a row. now my net weight gain is 8 lbs. not fabulous, but my drs aren't too worried yet. if i lose again at my appt next wednesday, then they may start worrying. the thing is, all i eat is junk food! how am i not gaining anything?! wierd...

after my dr appt i went to lunch with robert, bernie, laura, nick, roberta, and marty. it was SOOOOOOOOOOO nice to be out in public, feeling like a part of society again! but now i'm back in my "solitary confinement" (as some people call it) until next wednesday!

laura came over last night a cut my hair --- which felt SOOO nice! i owe her big time!!! maybe i'll put a pic up later...or you can check the video site if you're really that interested.

YAY for a good day! now it's off to sleep, since i got none last night!

28 weeks today!!!! if i can get through 2 more weeks, we're good to go!!!!

Erin brought the kids over tonight and Amber & Ava painted my belly. It was pretty funny. Here's the video:



Erin, being the awesome Suzy-Q Homemaker that she is, also made a FANTASTIC pumpkin pie from scratch...from a real pumpkin! NOT a can! It was great!! Here are other pictures of our night together:

One thing I’d grab if my house were on fire: pictures, definitely
One thing I wish I could throw away: some past memories
One thing I’ll never, ever throw away: pictures of Abigail's ultrasounds
Something I lost and still miss: my first baby
Something I’ve kept since childhood: a few dr seuss books
A food item I never run out of: ginger ale
A household brand I’m very loyal to: suave
Something I sleep with every night: 2 pillows (and my husband!)
One thing that’s on my wish list: to get off of bedrest
Something I take with me wherever I go: phenergan and/or pepto bismol
Something that makes me smile when I see it: my baby's picture
Something my children fight over: don't have to deal with that yet
Something I hate to clean: anything that needs to be cleaned, really
Something I show off when people visit: Abigail's pictures
Something I hide when people visit: my laundry
Something I’m embarrassed to admit I like: can't think of anything embarrassing...
Something I collect: dr seuss books
Something I avoid at all costs: throwing up
Something that reminds me of my mother: books
Something that reminds me of my father: not going there
The best gift I’ve ever received: the love of my husband

everyone needs to listen to this (CLICK HERE)....it is FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!!! it's a clip from a morning radio show somewhere....trust me, it's funny!

so i just got home from the doctor. it was a good visit. no change: still holding steady at 3 cm. which is better than being dialated more!! she did "modify" my bedrest a bit: i am now allowed to go fix stuff for myself in the kitchen a little, which is always nice! and i can walk around the house a little more than before, but i still pretty much have to stay mostly down.

mom let me go to THQ for lunch today, which was AWESOME! i ate with the guys that are recording Sing Praise. it KILLS me to not be doing it....but there ya go. it was really nice to be with other people, even if just for a short amount of time.

when i got home, my fetal doppler was waiting for me on my doorstep!!!!!! i am so freakin' excited about it!!! i've been playing with it for about an hour now! i'm trying to get a good recording on my computer. that way, maybe i can figure out how to put a sound file on this blog then everyone can hear my baby's heartbeat!! (for those of you who don't care, sorry. this is my life right now! you'll just have to get over it!)

anyway, there it is! (have any of you seen AMADEUS? the movie about mozart? the king guy said "there it is" all the time in that movie....i've kinda taken to saying it now...wierd...)

it's sunday and i wish i were at church. not being able to go KILLS me! but it's all for my baby, right?! (kinda ironic if you think about it....who would have ever thought you'd say "i can't go to church for my child?")

anyway, so far things are okay. the medicine i have to take every 6 hours makes my heart race and makes me shake pretty bad...especially when i eat. but i guess after having zero exercise, any kind of work my body does will make my heart work overtime. so that's great fun!

abigail has been moving quite a bit, which makes me happy. the only real breakdown i've had since i've been home was on friday night when i hadn't felt her in a really long time. i finally felt her and i just lost it completely. i think it's just nerves, really.

i'm really excited about getting my fetal doppler in the next few days! mom rented me one from storkradio.com so we can check in on her whenever we need to. it's the same doppler that my doctor's office uses, so i am really excited about that! once i get it in the mail, i'll try to put her heartbeat up on here for all y'all to hear! :-)

other than that, things are okay. i'm not going stir crazy...yet!! i'm looking forward to my "outing" tomorrow when i get to go to the doctor!!! that'll be a couple hours of "freedom" for me! and hopefully there will be no cervical changes to speak of!!!

until then, here's to laying on my back for 24 hours straight!!!

alright! so here's the story:

tuesday night i started bleeding out of nowhere while at dinner. i called the nurse line and she said it was probably nothing to worry about but if i was still anxious in the morning, to come on in. of course i was anxious so i called. i went to the dr's office and sat for over 2 hours while they tried to fit me in. once i finally got checked by the dr, i was told i was 3 cm dialated and needed to be rushed to labor & delivery. (commence jill's freak out here.) i was taken over to L&D and hooked up to 2 monitors and an iv - just in case abigial decided to make her appearance. i was also started on steroids to help her lungs mature rather quickly.

up to this point, i had not been having contractions. this was a positive sign. until 1:15 this morning when i went into labor, having contractions every 3 minutes. it was here i was given 2 shots of some medication i can never remember the name of to stop the contractions. when the dr came to check me this morning, i was still 3 cm, which was good. i hadn't progressed any further dialation even with being thrown into labor. the dr said that if by my 2nd steroid shot at 1pm i still hadn't dialated more, they would send me home on complete bedrest. so when i got my 2nd shot of the steriods for abby's lungs, the dr checked me again and i was only 2 cm!! not sure how that happened, but i'll take it!!!

now i am home and on complete bedrest until abigail is born. this could be anytime now, but we are hoping for at least 30 wks gestation. i'll be 27 wks on saturday, so it's not that far. when i was admitted to L&D i was given an ultrasound to check abby and she weighed in at 2lbs5oz which is really good. even if i deliver her now, she will be fine. she'll have to stay in the NICU for a while but she will make it, barring any unforseen circumstances.

thank you to all who have prayed for me over the past couple days. i have gotten so many calls and emails letting me and robert know of your thoughts and prayers. they are working! my dialation is going backwards and my labor stopped!! that's amazing! so thank you!!!

now i just have to come up with what i am going to do for the next few weeks/months while i am at home alone. i'm not allowed to do anything but be in bed, go to the bathroom, and shower. nothing else. any ideas are VERY welcome!!!!!!!!

it's 2:56am and i'm awake.

this is a much too common occurance now-a-days.

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

i got new fish yesterday. i didn't know that angel fish could be in a freshwater tank, but lo and behold, i got 'em!! i also got another betta as my other one didn't last the move from one room to the other. it's amazing how fickle they are!

in other news, i got a full-time temporary job at the corps today! the receptionist who was there quit and they asked if i would come fill in until abigail is born. i can honestly say that i never thought i'd be excited to be a receptionist, but i am just so bored and tired of being alone all day! this will be good. so wednesday (after recordings for sing praise are over) i will be the new corps receptionist. WOO HOOO! (yes this meant i had to call the 2 families i was working extremely part time for, but this, i feel, is more important and better for me at this point in time!)

here's to god looking out for us!!!!!

i'm gorging myself at the moment...seriously, i cant get enough!

tonight, in accordance with my "celebrate birthdays/anniversaries over a whole month (or at least a week) tradition", robert and i went to Roy's for dinner. it was this really nice "hawaiian fusion cuisine" that was REALLY good! we told them that it was our anniversary so they brought my dessert (creme brulee) out like this! robert had a molten chocolate lava cake thing that looked really good, but since abigail has pretty much made it impossible for me to eat chocolate, i had to settle for just smelling it! and it smelled GOOD!

anyway, our anniversary week/month celebrations are now over and it's back to normal life.

that's how i like it!

we went to the Atlanta Opera last night as our anniversary present to ourselves. it was PHENOMENAL!! we saw Turandot, which is the opera with "Nessun Dorma" in it. i've been to several musicals at the Fox before, but this was my first real opera. it was absolutely amazing! we had the best time!! i love getting all dressed up for a good night out every once in a while. and what made this time even more special was that i found a dress that didn't make me look like a cow! you would never know my dress wasn't a maternity dress! (but i won't tell you what size it was....!!!)

anyway, if you ever get the chance to go to the opera, GO!

so today my stroller and pack-n-play came in the mail!! of course that means i have to set them up and play with them! the pack-n-play has a detachable bassinet in it and also has a changing table. the stroller folds up so small (which is one of the main reasons i picked that one) and my car seat fits into it!

i'm so excited!! the time is getting closer and closer!!

check out www.wheresgeorge.com and find out where your money has been! it's kinda cool if you get bored....