i think things are different now. i know, that's an understatement. but in me, like ME, i think things are different. i was trying to explain to robert the other night now i feel just....different now. it didn't work very well - my explainations, that is. and it's true, i don't know how to explain it but something is just different now. the way i feel. the way i think. for (a small) example: those of you who know me, know that i am NOT a morning person and hate getting up period! however, now, i have to get up at 2:30am to pump then start my day at 7:30 pumping. this means that sleeping in is no longer an option. some days i go back to bed for an hour or so after, but i can't really sleep when i do that. this is weird! this isn't like me!!

i know that in general having a baby changes your life and your lifestyle, but i guess i was more expecting the changes to come when abigail got home. but they were pretty much immediate!! just knowing that she is in the world now and is counting on me to sustain her does something to the way i think about everything.

and it's great!!