well, my breastfeeding days are over. completely. i got mastitis again after just 2 weeks of getting over the first round with it. this time was 1000 times worse. so i went to the dr yesterday and apparently abigail has bacterial colonies harboring in her mouth/nose that are causing me to get sick. therefore, i have to give up pumping and/or nursing altogether. obviously i am a complete wreck. i sat in my drs office yesterday absolutely sobbing over the fact that i can no longer feed my child like this. but at the same time, i'm no use to her when i'm this sick and i can't keep getting this sick. at it's highest, my fever was 103.5, my head has been throbbing to the point of i can sit up at all, my whole body aches, and my breasts are so painful that it hurts to wear clothes. and on top of all this, i have to go through the process of drying up my milk. that's no fun either. it's very uncomfortable!

so anyway, things right now are not that great. i'm having a really hard time dealing with this...i am so sick that i can't even take care of my daughter. for the first time in over 24 hrs i'm holding her right now. it's just ridiculous.

so there you go. formula, here we come.