okay. so here we go...

this week we got some really painful news. it turns out that robert and i are not able to get (and stay) pregnant on our own. we had some testing done last week and the results were not good. they did, however, make the miscarriage that i had in september make sense. (and on that note, my doctor says that i have probably miscarried more that i know. if that's the case, i'm glad i don't know.) anyway, the test results indicate that our chances of conceiving a healthy, viable pregnancy on our own are very slim to none. which means that if we want a baby, we have 2 choices: 1) adoption and 2) infertility treatments.

at this point, we are looking into treatments. they are quite expensive and taxing emotionally. we have another appointment on monday to talk about our "plan of action" from this point on.

i don't know quite how i feel about all this yet. i'm still trying to get my head around the fact that we're not going to be able to get pregnant without medical help. it's quite a blow to my system. once i get a better feel for how i feel and what i'm thinking, i'll post more. until then, i'm struggling...