i just got home last night from a staff retreat that we had. the more i am around younglife, the more i wonder if i really belong here. i am so different from the people i work with. in the music they listen to, the way they act, the language they use....everything. but more than that, i am not passionate about this organization like they are. younglife is definitly a sub-culture, like the army. i didn't grow up in it - i am an "outsider." but it just seems that the more i am around this place, the more i realize that i don't fit in here -- i don't belong here. and the really bad thing is that i don't know what to do about it. should i quit? should i look for another job? should i stick it out and just wait? i know this is not my calling. we talked a lot about that this weekend: what is our calling? well, mine is most assuradly NOT working here at younglife. that is not to say that yl is a bad organization. it's not. it's just that my calling is to be at home with my kids. i told my co-workers that this weekend and i don't think it went over too well. i'm not real sure how to take their reaction. these people pour their lives into this ministry. i don't. while i see ministry in my job (as it should be for all christians), i don't see this as my calling. so i'm struggling with what to do. robert and i need me to have a job right now...hopefully when i have kids, i will be able to stay at home. that's what i really feel called to do. so i believe that God will provide the means nessecary to do that. but for now i need to stay in a job. should it be this one?
anyway -- there are my thoughts for the day. not real sure what to do with them, but there they are.
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in other news: i saw this quote and cracked up when i read it. thought i'd share.
"Do not interfere in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."
~Words of Wizdumb