abigail's blanket:
mommy's blanket:
Friday, January 25, 2008
i had quite a productive day! which is surprising seeing that abigail didn't go to sleep last night until 5 am! i have wanted to make some of these "no sew blankets" for a while and i finally went out today and got the fleece to do it!!! i'm feeling quite proud of myself!!! abigail's is quite a bit larger than i thought it would be but she'll be able to use it for a long time. mine is really big which is great cause i love oversize blankets! (and i love the retro look!) here's my final products:
abigail's blanket:
mommy's blanket:
abigail's blanket:
mommy's blanket:
Thursday, January 24, 2008
it's no secret that i have been exclusively pumping for abigail instead of nursing her. well, that means that i have to pump and freeze milk b/c 1) when she was in the NICU she didn't eat a lot and 2) i pump more than she eats at one time. so today i decided i would take a look and see how much i have in there. i thought maybe somewhere around 100 oz. i've been pumping for 2 months...i thought that was a good guess. no....i have at least 572 oz of milk frozen in my deep freezer!! and i say "at least" because i multiplied the 143 bags by the amount in the smallest bag: 4 oz. but there are probably more than half of the bags in there that have closer to 6 oz in them! and the crazy thing is that i am still adding to this stash! just this morning i added another 24 oz!!!
what am i going to do with all this milk!??!
what am i going to do with all this milk!??!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
i'm not a morning person. (understatement of the year.) i hate mornings. i hate having to get out of bed unless i'm good and ready to...which usually falls around 11am. HOWEVER! waking up to abby's coos and talking then looking over her crib and seeing her playing (okay, sometimes crying, too) first thing in the morning is AMAZING! i absolutely love it!!! and i didn't realize this until today when i didn't get to do it. robert got her up b/c i was otherwise indisposed being a milk machine. so i missed my morning hello from my baby.
she makes mornings bearable. that's a big deal!
she makes mornings bearable. that's a big deal!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
so we got a TON of snow today (well, a lot for us!) so we decided to bundle abby up in about 12 layers of clothes (the top one being a 6 month outfit!) and take her out for a minute. daddy made a snowman for her and we took pics of us with her. then, we heard our neighbors yelling at us and out they came taking pics of the 3 of us in the snow!!! hopefully i'll get those soon....
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
To say that i have been frustrated with nursing/pumping is a HUGE understatement! i have known since before i was pregnant that i wanted to breastfeed. abigail, however, has had other plans! we have spent the last 2 months trying to figure this whole thing out. for something that is supposed to be so "natural", it's freakin' hard! she would get very frustrated when i tried to get her to latch on and in turn, i would get frustrated. the lactation consultants in the NICU were of some help, but never really sat down and showed me what to look for in her latching and sucking and what's right and what's wrong. i was also told that since she's a preemie, she may never get it. she had a feeding tube for so long and went straight to the bottle that she just may not get it. needless to say, i was very disappointed but determined to either pump every 3 hrs (which wasn't my favorite idea) or get this whole nursing thing to work once and for all. at abigails 2 month check up, her dr and i talked about our nursing problems and he put me in contact with the lactation consultants and peidmont hospital. to be honest, at first thought, i didn't think it would do any good. but i thought i'd give it one last try -- after all, they are only 5 minutes from my house as opposed to the LCs at Emory Eastside (where i delivered) being an hour away. so today i had my appt. i was excited for it - when i spoke with the LC on the phone last week, she was very positive and, after hearing my situation with a preemie, told me that this isn't insurmountable. that was the first time i had heard that clearly. so i went to this appointment with an open mind but hopes not too high. i got there, undressed abby down to a clean diaper and we weighed her. then the moment of truth: time to get her to latch. and amazingly she took to it right away!! she nursed off and on for an hour and a half taking about 1 1/2 oz total!!! it took everything in me not to turn into a puddle of tears on the floor!!! the LC said that she was doing very well, especially for her first time really nursing effectively. she said that probably within a week, abigail will be nursing exclusively!! i have done one other feeding since being home - she nursed for half of it and took the bottle for the other half. i am so excited!!!!
we still have some "preemie issues" to overcome in regards to nursing, but all in all i now know that as long as i put the time and effort into it (and patience!), abigail will get it! she proved today that she CAN do it! she just needs to learn that she now has to work for her food!!!!
we still have some "preemie issues" to overcome in regards to nursing, but all in all i now know that as long as i put the time and effort into it (and patience!), abigail will get it! she proved today that she CAN do it! she just needs to learn that she now has to work for her food!!!!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
why are some decisions so hard to make? i've been struggling with one in particular for the last 2 weeks. well, it's been longer than that, but the intense part of it has been 2 weeks. i'm constantly fighting with myself over what to do, who to listen to, how to go about this, etc. i get varying opinions and suggestions -- who do i listen to? everyone has a different take on MY situation...even the "experts" have different takes! what is right? which road is the right road? i think it is quite possibly THE most frustrated i've ever been in my life....
Monday, January 07, 2008
okay, so since i have a minute now, i can put down a bit more of my thoughts from this weekend. during these weekends, i usually am the most excited about seeing my friends that i don't get to see but a few times a year. however, this year was different. there's something about being a mom that makes everything, and i mean EVERYTHING, be seen in a different light. i have never really taken a minute to really read the words that i am singing on these weekends. i am usually just trying my best to read the music! but this weekend, 2 songs stood out to me and have been playing over and over and over in my mind. the chorus of the first one:
you are my rock, my rock eternal
you are my source and inspiration
the joy of my salvation
the rock on which i stand
you are my rock, my rock eternal
you are my only sure foundation
the hope of every nation
the rock on which i stand
and the second one (with a few words missing here and there, these are my favorite lines):
be still and know that i am god
the god who gave my only son to you...
...though waters may roar and mountains may shake
and danger fills your heart with deep despair
with faith and hope and love you'll find me through your prayers
and know that i am near
...keep faith...my wonders never cease
it amazes me when i look back over what i and my family have been through the past 3 - 4 months. things i never thought i'd ever have to deal with. things that have been the scariest of my life. and yet look at where we are now! and while, yes, a lot of this has to do with abigail, there are other parts of my life that god has been near to. that he has proven to me again and again that "he is near" and always has been! i hate it when i look back over these times and realize that it's my fault i was so lost. but that's the truth. i was the one who moved. not him. but i also love it when i look back and realize that even though i was the one who moved, he stayed right with me, beckoning me to come back and just be with him. and it amazes me that he not only "allows" it, he WANTS it! he wants me!!!
i look at abigail and feel such a tremendous amount of love for her. love that i never really could understand until i saw her. and i know in those moments that god loves me just like that. no matter what. isn't that amazing?
you are my rock, my rock eternal
you are my source and inspiration
the joy of my salvation
the rock on which i stand
you are my rock, my rock eternal
you are my only sure foundation
the hope of every nation
the rock on which i stand
and the second one (with a few words missing here and there, these are my favorite lines):
be still and know that i am god
the god who gave my only son to you...
...though waters may roar and mountains may shake
and danger fills your heart with deep despair
with faith and hope and love you'll find me through your prayers
and know that i am near
...keep faith...my wonders never cease
it amazes me when i look back over what i and my family have been through the past 3 - 4 months. things i never thought i'd ever have to deal with. things that have been the scariest of my life. and yet look at where we are now! and while, yes, a lot of this has to do with abigail, there are other parts of my life that god has been near to. that he has proven to me again and again that "he is near" and always has been! i hate it when i look back over these times and realize that it's my fault i was so lost. but that's the truth. i was the one who moved. not him. but i also love it when i look back and realize that even though i was the one who moved, he stayed right with me, beckoning me to come back and just be with him. and it amazes me that he not only "allows" it, he WANTS it! he wants me!!!
i look at abigail and feel such a tremendous amount of love for her. love that i never really could understand until i saw her. and i know in those moments that god loves me just like that. no matter what. isn't that amazing?
Sunday, January 06, 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
well, it's been quite a weekend. territorial band & songsters rehearsals was this weekend and i have NEVER been as exhausted as i am right now. that includes 48+ hrs of labor and delivering abigail. these weekends tire me out as they are, but add in a 2 month old who wakes up every 2 hrs at night and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster!! it was great to see everyone - andy, connie, wendy, and jamie came over for dinner on thursday night. that was fun....and wendy looks FABULOUS! i can't wait for those babies to pop out!!!!!
abigail is doing well. we have her 2 MONTH check up on thursday! she's 2 months already! i can't believe it! she's around 6 lbs...we'll find out exactly on thursday. she also gets her first round of immunizations then. i can't believe how time has flown by! she has her days and nights mixed up still...which is a bit frustrating, but under normal circumstances (ie. no marathon rehearsals) i can deal with that alright. that said, i can't wait for her to get that straight and sleep longer stents! she is beginning to smile on purpose at things which is amazing to see. she knows who i am....which i LOVE! yesterday i went to get her up out of her bed to feed her a bottle and she looked straight at me and smiled. i melted right there!!! yes, i'm a sappy mom!
other than that, starting tomorrow morning we are learning a new normal in our house. robert and mom are both going back to work and it's life as usual....plus abigail! so we will be establishing our new normal and i can't wait! i work better on routines and schedules so i'm excited about this.
well, that's about it for now. i'm still tired - even though i had a HUGE nap when i got home this afternoon.
well, it's been quite a weekend. territorial band & songsters rehearsals was this weekend and i have NEVER been as exhausted as i am right now. that includes 48+ hrs of labor and delivering abigail. these weekends tire me out as they are, but add in a 2 month old who wakes up every 2 hrs at night and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster!! it was great to see everyone - andy, connie, wendy, and jamie came over for dinner on thursday night. that was fun....and wendy looks FABULOUS! i can't wait for those babies to pop out!!!!!
abigail is doing well. we have her 2 MONTH check up on thursday! she's 2 months already! i can't believe it! she's around 6 lbs...we'll find out exactly on thursday. she also gets her first round of immunizations then. i can't believe how time has flown by! she has her days and nights mixed up still...which is a bit frustrating, but under normal circumstances (ie. no marathon rehearsals) i can deal with that alright. that said, i can't wait for her to get that straight and sleep longer stents! she is beginning to smile on purpose at things which is amazing to see. she knows who i am....which i LOVE! yesterday i went to get her up out of her bed to feed her a bottle and she looked straight at me and smiled. i melted right there!!! yes, i'm a sappy mom!
other than that, starting tomorrow morning we are learning a new normal in our house. robert and mom are both going back to work and it's life as usual....plus abigail! so we will be establishing our new normal and i can't wait! i work better on routines and schedules so i'm excited about this.
well, that's about it for now. i'm still tired - even though i had a HUGE nap when i got home this afternoon.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Questions that need to be answered!!! (thanks erin!)
Can you cry under water?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? What happens to that extra penny?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What disease did cured ham actually have?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON tv?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is "bra" singular and " panties" plural?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
Which no decent human being would eat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Can you cry under water?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? What happens to that extra penny?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What disease did cured ham actually have?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON tv?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is "bra" singular and " panties" plural?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
Which no decent human being would eat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
paper - definitely
2. Real tree or artificial?
REAL ONE!!!
3. When do you put up the tree?
I wish the day after Thanksgiving. no choice about that!
4. When do you take the tree down?
The day after new years.
5. Do you like eggnog?
it's the most disgusting stuff in the world!!!
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
honestly, i'm not sure. i don't have a "stand out" favorite one...wierd...
7. Do you have a Nativity scene?
yep
8. Hardest person to buy for?
robert
9. Easiest person to buy for?
right now? abigail!!!
10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received?
hmmmm....refer to question 6
11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail...definitely
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
in my family, we have a couple traditions that HAVE to be watched at least twice during the season: White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street (the new one), The Young Messiah, Frosty the Snowman, and Rudolph (and the island of the misfit toys!!). those were in no particular order.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
uh....well.....whenever i get around to it. this year? not happening at all!
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
probably somewhere along the line
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Meemaw rolls when we get to GA! (gotta go with Trish on this one!)
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
clear....as a kid i liked colored but now i can't stand them!
17. Favorite Christmas song?
any from The Young Messiah (which is basically The Messiah a little more contemporary-like)
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
now that i'm married, travel
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixon, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. (trish, i'm disappointed.)
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
i grew up with an angel, but right now we have a cross
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
christmas morning....but we used to do ONE present christmas eve
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
hmmm...i'm gonna go with stupid people the day after thanksgiving that think they have to be horribly mean to others just to get something at a discount.
23. What is the 'corniest' family tradition you do, or miss doing?
growing up, the first night our tree was up, we would sleep in front of it on palattes on the floor and sing 2 songs: "if it doesn't snow on christmas" and "i like to turn the lights all out". we didn't do it this year....and i really missed it!!
24. Ugliest Christmas Decoration ever invented?
too many to name right now!
25. Which looks best theme trees or homey trees?
family tree all the way! there's nothing better than reliving memories with all the handmade ornaments from when we were kids!
26. Gingerbread or sugar cookies?
i actually like both -- but this time of year i'll go with gingerbread
27. Do you like Fruitcake?
Nope. refer to question 5
paper - definitely
2. Real tree or artificial?
REAL ONE!!!
3. When do you put up the tree?
I wish the day after Thanksgiving. no choice about that!
4. When do you take the tree down?
The day after new years.
5. Do you like eggnog?
it's the most disgusting stuff in the world!!!
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
honestly, i'm not sure. i don't have a "stand out" favorite one...wierd...
7. Do you have a Nativity scene?
yep
8. Hardest person to buy for?
robert
9. Easiest person to buy for?
right now? abigail!!!
10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received?
hmmmm....refer to question 6
11. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail...definitely
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
in my family, we have a couple traditions that HAVE to be watched at least twice during the season: White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street (the new one), The Young Messiah, Frosty the Snowman, and Rudolph (and the island of the misfit toys!!). those were in no particular order.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
uh....well.....whenever i get around to it. this year? not happening at all!
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
probably somewhere along the line
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Meemaw rolls when we get to GA! (gotta go with Trish on this one!)
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
clear....as a kid i liked colored but now i can't stand them!
17. Favorite Christmas song?
any from The Young Messiah (which is basically The Messiah a little more contemporary-like)
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
now that i'm married, travel
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixon, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph. (trish, i'm disappointed.)
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
i grew up with an angel, but right now we have a cross
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
christmas morning....but we used to do ONE present christmas eve
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
hmmm...i'm gonna go with stupid people the day after thanksgiving that think they have to be horribly mean to others just to get something at a discount.
23. What is the 'corniest' family tradition you do, or miss doing?
growing up, the first night our tree was up, we would sleep in front of it on palattes on the floor and sing 2 songs: "if it doesn't snow on christmas" and "i like to turn the lights all out". we didn't do it this year....and i really missed it!!
24. Ugliest Christmas Decoration ever invented?
too many to name right now!
25. Which looks best theme trees or homey trees?
family tree all the way! there's nothing better than reliving memories with all the handmade ornaments from when we were kids!
26. Gingerbread or sugar cookies?
i actually like both -- but this time of year i'll go with gingerbread
27. Do you like Fruitcake?
Nope. refer to question 5
Thursday, December 06, 2007
just to update:abigail is doing much better. thank you to all who have prayed for her since before she was born until now! her infection is getting better - her blood work shows it's down to 3.1 from 6.5 yesterday. this is fabulous news! she's taking all her feeds by bottle right now - not her feeding tube - and hopefully she'll continue that as they increase her feedings back up to full feeds. (a full feed for her is 37 ccs, right now she's at 15ccs. one ounce is about 30 ccs just for reference.) she will be on 2 antibiotics for the next 7 - 10 days and then hopefully things will be back to where she was before she got sick. the dr likened it to when we get colds or the flu and we are down for a few days then we feel better and have another little bit when we've done too much and need to go back to bed until we're completely better. thankfully she's responding to the meds so well that right now a blood transfusion is taken out of the equation for now. but mom is going to donate some blood for abigail just in case she does end up needing it later on.
again, thank you for all your prayers. if you want to keep up daily (or however) with how she's doing and pictures, you can visit her website that i update daily HERE.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
i know i haven't posted on here in a while. and even this post is mainly a copy of what i've already done elsewhere. but i am asking for prayer for abigail. things are pretty rough for her (and us) right now. i copied my journal entry from last night (from her website) so that you can know a little better how to pray. i do understand that there are those of you out there who don't care (no, those comments are not forgotten) and if that is you, just ignore this post. but for those of you who do care - and i KNOW that's a lot of you!!! - please take a minute and read this then pray for abigail. she is really needing prayers right now! thank you!!!
well, today was filled with much anxiety, nervousness, and freaking out! i called this morning to let abigail's nurse know that i was on my way and asked how abigail was doing. she says to me "abby's just not herself. we'll talk when you get here." so of course i'm freaking out the whole way up! apparently she had been screaming bloody murder for a while and NOTHING would soothe her. this is not like her! she's usually very happy and when she cries, it doesn't take much to comfort her. when i got there, abigail was very upset and i just grabbed her and held her. dr ahmed was late coming in today b/c he had a drs appt but as soon as he got there he looked at her and agreed that something wasn't quite right. he ordered a CBC and another type of blood thing. the CBC came back normal but the other one came back the slightest bit high (5 or above would show concern, hers was 1.4.) he asked if i had seen any changes in her and i said ABSOLUTELY! we went over what i have seen in her (low energy, very lethargic, not alert, pale, brady epidodes, desat episodes, etc) and with my observations added to his chart stuff, he decided to go ahead and start some antibiotics and move her back into the more intensive care nursery. he put her on a nasal canula to help with her desats, took her off feedings for the next few days, put an IV back in, and told us to prepare ourselves for a blood transfusion tomorrow. he also took a chest x-ray to make sure her lungs were doing alright. it looked great. so that was good.
so we moved her into the other room and when they were about to start her IV, lisa (her nurse - one of my favorites) said it would probably be better if i waited outside. well, i just fell apart at that! i didn't want to leave abigail. so she made an exception to their rule and let me stay, after all i had been with abigail all day long at this point! it took 4 sticks to get her IV going. the nurses tried 3 times and finally went and got dr ahmed to do the 4th one. abigail is so worn out that she really didnt' even flinch at the first 3 sticks. it wasn't until the 4th that she cried. i was really happy to hear that cry, though! it meant that she realized what was going on!!!
all in all, dr ahmed said there is no threat to her life right now. this is normal preemie stuff. he told us that ALL DAY LONG! and i believe him. it's just wierd and scary for us right now b/c we haven't had any of this before. i am completely wasted and exhausted from today. i have been an emotional wreck since before i got there! then just going through the whole thing was overwhelming. i didn't want to leave her at all tonight, but i know i need to rest up and take care of myself as well. but i just want to be with her at her bedside. they did let me hold her for all but about 1 1/2 hrs of the 8 hrs i was there. that was comforting.
so there's my update. i have a peace that she is going to be okay. i know she will. this is just something that she is going to have to go through. and it is normal. just pray for her to make it through this time as quickly as possible and that she will be back to her normal self soon. and for strength for me and robert as we walk this with her.
well, today was filled with much anxiety, nervousness, and freaking out! i called this morning to let abigail's nurse know that i was on my way and asked how abigail was doing. she says to me "abby's just not herself. we'll talk when you get here." so of course i'm freaking out the whole way up! apparently she had been screaming bloody murder for a while and NOTHING would soothe her. this is not like her! she's usually very happy and when she cries, it doesn't take much to comfort her. when i got there, abigail was very upset and i just grabbed her and held her. dr ahmed was late coming in today b/c he had a drs appt but as soon as he got there he looked at her and agreed that something wasn't quite right. he ordered a CBC and another type of blood thing. the CBC came back normal but the other one came back the slightest bit high (5 or above would show concern, hers was 1.4.) he asked if i had seen any changes in her and i said ABSOLUTELY! we went over what i have seen in her (low energy, very lethargic, not alert, pale, brady epidodes, desat episodes, etc) and with my observations added to his chart stuff, he decided to go ahead and start some antibiotics and move her back into the more intensive care nursery. he put her on a nasal canula to help with her desats, took her off feedings for the next few days, put an IV back in, and told us to prepare ourselves for a blood transfusion tomorrow. he also took a chest x-ray to make sure her lungs were doing alright. it looked great. so that was good.
so we moved her into the other room and when they were about to start her IV, lisa (her nurse - one of my favorites) said it would probably be better if i waited outside. well, i just fell apart at that! i didn't want to leave abigail. so she made an exception to their rule and let me stay, after all i had been with abigail all day long at this point! it took 4 sticks to get her IV going. the nurses tried 3 times and finally went and got dr ahmed to do the 4th one. abigail is so worn out that she really didnt' even flinch at the first 3 sticks. it wasn't until the 4th that she cried. i was really happy to hear that cry, though! it meant that she realized what was going on!!!
all in all, dr ahmed said there is no threat to her life right now. this is normal preemie stuff. he told us that ALL DAY LONG! and i believe him. it's just wierd and scary for us right now b/c we haven't had any of this before. i am completely wasted and exhausted from today. i have been an emotional wreck since before i got there! then just going through the whole thing was overwhelming. i didn't want to leave her at all tonight, but i know i need to rest up and take care of myself as well. but i just want to be with her at her bedside. they did let me hold her for all but about 1 1/2 hrs of the 8 hrs i was there. that was comforting.
so there's my update. i have a peace that she is going to be okay. i know she will. this is just something that she is going to have to go through. and it is normal. just pray for her to make it through this time as quickly as possible and that she will be back to her normal self soon. and for strength for me and robert as we walk this with her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)