wow. it's been a while. i don't even think i'm the same person i was when i posted last! so much has happened to me and so much about who i am has changed.
i have so much going on in my head and heart so much of the time now that it's hard to sort through. and nothing bad, really. it's all mostly good stuff! just life stuff that i'm learning and living through.
such as wanting to go get certified in breastfeeding counseling, childbirth education, and being a doula. such as being a mom of two beautiful children and what that means - to them and me. such as learning what the lord wants of me as a wife, mom, daughter, friend. learning how to live without some people and how to accept new ones.
i think about writing a lot but never have the time. or when i do have the time, i get a brain block and can't think of where to start!
but i guess this is a start!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
i've been properly chastised for not posting. and i'll admit that i don't like being "showed up" by my sister-in-law. so to redeem myself and start back with posting pictures and videos of abby, here she is playing with the balloon she got today at the Kia dealership when i went to test drive a car so i could get free Wiggles tickets.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
quite possibly the funniest thing i've read in a LOOOOONG time!!! no idea who wrote it, but man, i bet she's fun to live with!
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on.........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!
It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color...
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on.........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor .. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!
It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
okay, so the past month i've been a horrible, non-existent blogger. i profusely apologize to my few but loyal readers. i'm sure you gave up on me a while back!
i'm writing now but i'm not sure why. there's so much going on in my head but none of it makes any sense and therefore really has no reason being typed out. a lot has happened in this past month and the month ahead is sure to hold even more.
where to begin? i don't even know. not even sure that any of it is worth being put into words. my heart is heavy and broken. i have so many questions that are going to go unanswered for a while. if ever answered at all. my body is failing me/us and i don't know why. i don't understand why or how i could have such a strong desire for something but the means for that fulfillment are not available. again, my heart is heavy.
on the upside, only a few more weeks until my mom gets married!! i can NOT wait for that. i'm speaking during the retirement portion of the service and holy crap, i'm nervous! i'm not a public speaker. maybe i can sing it??? oh no, i'm singing her processional!! people won't want to hear me sing twice!!! okay, so back to speaking. how do you come up with what to say at your mom's retirement/wedding?! how do you decide which stories to use and which to not? here's my challenge for the next few weeks!
another good thing is some good friends of our moved to town this month. both robert and i are VERY excited about this.
abby is growing up too fast. she is starting to sing along with CDs in the car. okay, seriously, when did she get old enough for that?! she's walking/running EVERYWHERE and is just generally into everything. she's beautiful and fabulous and i wouldn't have life without her.
okay, there's a small recap of life since my last post. until next time....
i'm writing now but i'm not sure why. there's so much going on in my head but none of it makes any sense and therefore really has no reason being typed out. a lot has happened in this past month and the month ahead is sure to hold even more.
where to begin? i don't even know. not even sure that any of it is worth being put into words. my heart is heavy and broken. i have so many questions that are going to go unanswered for a while. if ever answered at all. my body is failing me/us and i don't know why. i don't understand why or how i could have such a strong desire for something but the means for that fulfillment are not available. again, my heart is heavy.
on the upside, only a few more weeks until my mom gets married!! i can NOT wait for that. i'm speaking during the retirement portion of the service and holy crap, i'm nervous! i'm not a public speaker. maybe i can sing it??? oh no, i'm singing her processional!! people won't want to hear me sing twice!!! okay, so back to speaking. how do you come up with what to say at your mom's retirement/wedding?! how do you decide which stories to use and which to not? here's my challenge for the next few weeks!
another good thing is some good friends of our moved to town this month. both robert and i are VERY excited about this.
abby is growing up too fast. she is starting to sing along with CDs in the car. okay, seriously, when did she get old enough for that?! she's walking/running EVERYWHERE and is just generally into everything. she's beautiful and fabulous and i wouldn't have life without her.
okay, there's a small recap of life since my last post. until next time....
Thursday, May 07, 2009
any YPLers from '98 - '00 out there? i came across this today and, after seeing david and his beautiful new hazel, i HAD to bring this back out. although i think david's performance is MUCH better!
Andy Kaufman performs Mighty Mouse - watch more funny videos
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
abby had her first ice cream cone tonight! she LOVED it! i don't think i've had so much fun in a while --- just watching her dive into this baby-sized ice cream cone! it's funny - she's never had one before, but knew exactly how to hold it and eat from it! DANG i have a smart kid!! :-) she's just growing up too fast. not my baby anymore.
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